Relationships aren’t easy. No matter how much two people love each other, they are two different people with unique challenges at the end of the day, and it can make life difficult sometimes. Low self-esteem is one of the challenges that can get in the way of having a healthy, reciprocal relationship. It will make you sabotage and test relationships or settle for relationships that provide the bad treatment you think you deserve. None of these paths lead to happiness, but how do you know you’re on one of them? How do you know that low self-esteem is affecting your relationships and quality of life?
In today’s blog, we want to share several signs that low self-esteem is damaging your relationships. If you recognize any of these signs in yourself, it might be a good idea to get the help of a professional or whatever will help you move forward.
The Impacts of Low Self-Esteem on Relationships
You struggle to open up.
Many different experiences in life can leave a person unwilling to fully get into a relationship, but one of the most common is seeing your parents go through a painful divorce. Such an experience can leave you hesitant to love whether you realize it or not. Whatever makes it difficult for you to open up, your fear of being hurt will prevent you from achieving the relationship you so deeply crave.
You have to test your loved one.
Even if you think you trust your loved one, deep insecurities will eventually warp your actions and emotions. If you believe that you can’t be loved, you’re going to need proof from your loved one that you can be loved. You’ll test your partner, hoping he or she can fulfill your deep need for value and love. Unfortunately, that is not a fair thing to require of another person, especially not on that scale. And if you take it further, sabotaging the relationship based on some deep belief that your partner will leave, you make it even more difficult to ever have a good relationship. The regret and painful confirmation of your unlovability only set you up for failure in your next relationship.
You settle easily.
When someone expresses interest in you, that’s enough. It doesn’t matter if the person wouldn’t be a good match for you or will make you miserable. Even if you are unhappy, you’ll tell yourself that you’re lucky to have someone at all. Many people know they are unhappy but won’t change anything.
You don’t believe people.
When your self-esteem is low, it can be very difficult to trust. In order to protect yourself, you’ll assume your loved one is being dishonest, even when he or she is telling the truth. Suspicion gradually turns any relationship sour and can actually drive the distrusted partner to start lying. This will just confirm your belief that the people you love lie to you, and that will make future relationships that much more difficult.
You gravitate toward insecurity.
Being familiar with being cheated on or left – situations that deepen your low self-esteem – will drive you to relationships that recreate that familiar pain. You might manipulate your loved ones into inflicting that pain when they don’t want to. You might even get bored and disinterested. You’ll simultaneously work to make the relationship work while pushing it to the brink in order to replicate that feeling of insecurity.
You are frightened by intimacy.
Sometimes, women don’t have experience with intimacy because of the way they were brought up. Other times, they have low self-esteem about their bodies and the vulnerability involved in intimacy is just too much. The important thing to realize here is that this insecurity can come along mid-relationship as well as right off the bat. As we go through life, our bodies change, and this can have a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves.
Regain Your Confidence
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